Onestar's Secret Agency
by Fluffybunny1
Summary: After Firestar's escape, Blackstar is furious. But what happens when Onestar puts together a secret agency to track him down? Sequel to Blackstar's Police Station.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

**Chapter 1  
><strong>**An Explosive Forecast**

It was just another normal day at the lake. RiverClan were hunting fish, ThunderClan sissies were going to check on WindClan, and Onestar was selling coffee in his shop.

Back in the ShadowClan camp, Blackstar sat on the pile of ashes that used to be his desk chair. He held the ruined police document in his paws. The signatures had burned off it.

"Perfect," he muttered. "Just perfect." He got up and walked towards the den entrance. Russetfur was waiting for him outside.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"The WindClan camp," he answered.

"Ummm... why?"

Blackstar's eyes glinted evilly. "It's time I had a little... chat with Onestar."

"Onestar's in his shop right now," Russetfur reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," he said. "I'll just travel through the marshes, then."

And he set off through the thorn barrier.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Fluffybunny1 was flying in a giant coffee cup with wings. The Author randomly dropped a laser hamburger. It hit the ThunderClan Camp and exploded. He laughed and flew up, out of sight.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>1 hour later...<strong>

Blackstar finally reached the shop. Ashfoot and Crowfeather stood just outside. Crowfeather was holding a camera and was pointing it at Ashfoot. Ashfoot was obviously doing some stupid broadcast. Off to the side, Tornear said:

"We interrupt this broadcast for an important warning."

Crowfeather pressed a button on the camera, and Ashfoot started talking.

"Lately, there has been some very strange weather spotted around the lake. One ShadowClan apprentice reported to have seen a hamburger fall into ThunderClan territory. There seems to have been some kind of bomb attached to the hamburger, because it exploded in the ThunderClan camp. A giant coffee cup with wings was spotted just before the explosion. Now let's take a look at today's forecast."

She stepped to the side as Breezepelt and Heathertail appeared, pushing in a huge screen showing a map of the lake.

"There will be high winds tonight," she continued, "and a storm of hot dogs and french fries."

Suddenly, a hot dog fell on the camera and exploded. Crowfeather yowled and ran down towards the lake, tripping over the broken halfbridge and falling headfirst into the cold, dark water.

While they were distracted, Blackstar crept around the back of the screen and pushed open the door to the coffee shop. Onestar was standing behind the counter.

"Oh, hello, Blackstar," he said cheerfully.

I know this is rated K+, so let's just say this. If words could kill, Onestar would've lost all of his remaining lives.

"Whoa, calm down buddy," he said, completely unafraid that an enemy Clan leader would like nothing more than to pelt him with laser hot dogs.

"You let Firestar escape and you expect me to CALM DOWN?" he screamed.

"Yep," said Onestar, still cheerful.

"Well, I have news for you!" said Blackstar. "I will not sleep, and I will not rest until I have Firestar locked up!"

"Hey, no problem," he said. "My secret agency will take care of it all."

"Your secret agency?" Blackstar smirked.

"Yep," said Onestar. "So, where do we begin?"

"Search through the territory for any sign of the magic microwave." said Blackstar.

"I've got a better idea," Onestar mewed excitedly. "But first, it's time for an OSA meeting!"

Blackstar raised an eyebrow.

"Onestar's Secret Agency," he said impatiently. Blackstar frowned.

"What, don't you like it?"

A few minutes later, Blackstar sat around the long table at OSA headquarters. Ashfoot was done with her broadcast and was sitting at the table with all of the senior warriors. Crowfeather arrived a moment later, his burnt and blackened fur soaked with water from the lake.

"Good, you're all here," said Onestar, placing a large packet on the table.

"Please tell me that's not the magic chicken wing," said Blackstar.

"It's not," said Onestar, opening the packet. He pulled out a McDonald's bag and a happy meal. He opened the happy meal container and dumped a double cheeseburger and a small fry onto the table. Next, he turned over the bag. A 10 piece nugget, large fry, egg McMuffin, and a packet of hash browns fell out of it.

"Um... What is this for?" Blackstar asked.

"Laser food!" Onestar yowled, tossing a french fry into the air. He caught it in his mouth. Laughing madly, he ran towards the teleporter at the corner of the room and started punching random buttons.

Crowfeather sighed and ran inside the teleporter with Onestar. Breezepelt and Heathertail followed him. They all disappeared in a flash of blue light.

* * *

><p><strong>Random volcano...<strong>

"WHEEEEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Onestar yelled, jumping into the volcano. The laser French fry in his mouth exploded. Crowfeather walked forward and casually picked up the magic chicken wing sitting at the top of the volcano as lava rushed up the main vent. The magic microwave appeared, perched on the side vent. He punched in the password and pressed the "teleport" button. Breezepelt and Heathertail followed him inside as the volcano erupted.

* * *

><p><strong>Back at HQ...<strong>

Crowfeather stepped out of the magic microwave and shoved it into the teleporter. He punched in "random volcano" and pressed start. The magic microwave disappeared, reappearing a moment later with Onestar inside. His fur was scorched, and he had smoke coming out of his mouth where the French fry had exploded.

"That was AWESOME!" he yowled, then ran over and gave Blackstar a hug. Blackstar shoved him back into his seat, where he ate the rest of the French fries.

"Come on," said Crowfeather. "Let's get out of here before Onestar blows himself up."

Breezepelt gathered up the rest of the laser food while Heathertail punched in a code on the magic microwave. Everyone crammed inside while Crowfeather pressed the start button. They disappeared as Onestar shoved the last French fry into his mouth and blew up for the second time that day.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Fluffybunny1 opened a packet of laser french fries. He threw them down into the lake as he soared over the RiverClan camp. One of them hit the tree bridge and knocked it into the water. Several of them landed in the water by the ShadowClan camp, and a tsunami swamped the whole territory. The Author laughed madly as he tossed a chicken McNugget into ThunderClan territory. It hit the Abandoned Twoleg Nest, which exploded and fell. Fluffybunny1 then hurled an egg McMuffin at the Moonpool. Water splashed over the side of the hill and hit a ThunderClan patrol. The cats looked up, annoyed, as the muffin exploded, taking off the top of the hill. The Author soared away from the lake as Ashfoot interrupted with another broadcast about the Abandoned Twoleg Nest.<p>

* * *

><p>"I hope HQ is explosion proof," said Blackstar, sitting at one of the tables inside Onestar's shop.<p>

"Oh, don't worry," said Crowfeather. "Knowing Onestar, we built it so it could even withstand a laser storm. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for my camera."

He looked outside to where Ashfoot was doing the news report.

"Come on. We better leave before Onestar gets back," he said. "I've had enough explosions for one day."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry I was gone so long. I hope this story makes up for it, and I will try to update more often.<strong>


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